The agency...
...reserves the right to terminate its staff
at any time. The agency requires
your secret pocket phone upon your person,
turned on, and with the flex not tied in knots,
for twenty-four hours in the day. We may
—at our discretion—subject our personnel
to physicals or medicals or days
mysteriously missing from their week...
...because, the agency...
...henceforth known as The Agency, at will
may, without prejudice, amend your friends
to suit its needs, inserting random strangers:
have you met "Denise"; and rubbing out weird Joe
who once you were quite keen to know and who
still makes you laugh sometimes. We will provide
a set of field-expedient manuals
with all the humour you require. We are...
...the agency...
and may place items in your Twitter feed,
your shopping trolley, or your secret heart.
Dating co-workers is required, but please
check codewords every time you meet, and sex
must be according to the book. Ask for:
A15-brackets-B-stroke-W
(or F-dash-C for colour illustrations.)
For clarity, the sum of agents is...
...the agency...
...and we express no preference for gender,
creed or colour; so neither should you, either
for your self, nor for your special friends. Agents
need to respect the social order only
for psychological profiling. You are
a professional intelligence worker:
no t-shirts, beanie hats, or jeans. Which means
when you are undercover you deny...
...the agency...
three times, or else you're violating our
dress code. We are ISO 5000 accredited,
a best-in-class spy-service provider. You...
are a suit with a badge.
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